In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
