How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
