you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize