Buhtt sex?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
