You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
