speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
