Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize