i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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