So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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