3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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