went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
