its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize