I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
