If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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