I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize