apparently the secret to your success is patron
I looked at my own cervix.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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