I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
