11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
