While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
