make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
its liver damage thursday
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
