in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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