the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
