"it" just moved
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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