She's JV to your varsity
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
