is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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