dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
