im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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