K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
