Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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