You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
