why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So many bounce houses so little time
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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