Me too!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hippo gnu deer
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
