road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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