I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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