Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
