i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
