Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Houston, we have a blender
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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