ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
