oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize