so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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