Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
