Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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