yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
