You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
