2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
