Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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