you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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