Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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