I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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