i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
