whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
bring money and cleavage
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Randomize
