Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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