I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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