theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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