At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
