I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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