the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
