I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
