whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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