He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
