Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
