real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
