Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize