just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
