I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
