the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
