remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
