There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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