Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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