i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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