you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
