You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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