He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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