Cold hands, warm shart.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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