Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
organizing the empties. That sober.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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