She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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